11 Weeks. The Rebuild.

   The first three months that I have been back in California have been the most body-destructive of my life. When compiled with the last 5 months that I was in Texas being the other most destructive days...my abs have been a scary sight. After months of weekend wine fests, midnight In and Out 'snacks' (which ps--a double-double is NEVER a snack) 4 course Cheesecake Factory dinners and now my Europa body has since felt like a figment of my imagination. Its been hard to think abut how far i had let myself go... Seemingly, I have had every excuse I could think of to lose control of my clean eating and lack of exercise. Excuse #1: I had an amazing job with 10 hours of cardio built right into my schedule that I had spent years building up my client and member base where I not only loved everyone but was loved back ten fold, to now starting over from scratch where NOONE knew or cared who the hell I was or what I brought to the table. Excuse #2: In TX, my best friends were either like-minded trainers or gym junkies whose idea of a good time was inventing new torturous leg exercises or swapping clean recipes, to now having every social situation being centered around alcohol or dinners out. Excuse #3: I moved halfway across the country to move in with my brand new fiance, whom I haven't lived with even in the same zip code for the past 3 years, let alone under the same roof. Excuse #4: I was sad and borderline depressed from picking up and moving, leaving all my friends and mom behind, so while feeling sorry for myself, I hated the thought of working out in the gym knowing that they wouldn't be there.
    As most of my clients know, I have a very low tolerance for excuses. I couldn't wrap my head around why I was letting myself give in to all that for so long. At first it was nice to have a break, but my body was craving the gym, craving a workout and i was going out of my way to avoid it.
    I was going through what i have seen clients/friends/members go through time and time again. When you first get involved in a program whether it be training, regularly attending a class or whatever it may be, being a newbie sucks. No one likes to feel awkward, or like you don't know what you're doing, that you're just an intruder or feeling like you could just hear other people think, "Oh, she'll never last". Once you dive past that awkward stage and start seeing progress, the people you regularly interact with now become your cheerleaders, your motivators and the people who help keep you accountable. Its an amazing feeling to get to know like minded people and bond with them on your fitness journey. Its extra motivating to know you have a gym full of friends expecting to see your sweaty face every week, but as it often happens, life can get in the way. Whether it be a couple classes missed due to a work schedule, or a couple months off from an injury, knowing that you'll have to face those people in a completely different shape than you left is what sets off the negative nancy part of your brain. Sitting around obsessing over what everyone will be thinking about you is the poison that WILL totally derail your progress. "Wow, someone really fell off the wagon", is likely what you think everyone will think. I know its definitely what I thought everyone would think.
   Here I had been looked at as a motivator, and I fell into the exact pattern that I try sooo hard to keep everyone off of. My body fat had gone from 16% to 31% in a matter of months and I felt like I was one In n Out run away from needing a hoverround...true story. My trainer jerseys barely fit and for the first time in the 7 years that I had been working at 24 Hour Fitness I had to upgrade to a large shirt which was still snug. I didn't even feel like i deserved to be a trainer/ instructor because i felt like i was far from a shining example of what to do. I decided to take some bikini pics as I had done all through Europa's training and was floored when i saw how bad the situation really was. That was when my pity party came to a screeching halt... I cant fix ANYTHING if all i keep doing was sitting around mourning my abs. I enlisted  one of my CA best friends to meet up with me at a different class every night, which made me look forward to working out again. I was still upset about not being able to workout with Nina, Angela, Ashley or my other workout buddies, but I had to make a temporary peace with it or make  permanent peace with wearing a shirt over my bikini all summer. Then came my sweet tooth Sammy... Even though Sam's meal plans are geared towards him gaining muscle and a ridiculous amount of calories, we cleaned up our meals together and he gave up the late night drive through urges and steers clear of the junk food aisles now when we do our grocery shopping. We help each other every morning prep all of our clean meals for the day and surprisingly have saved tons of money on our grocery bill in the process. So one month later, I am the happiest I have been since i moved and i owe it all to jumping back into my old lifestyle. I can not WAIT to come back to TX to compete with my favorite people again for Europa part two... 11 weeks away and I am now happily busting my ass to make each one count!